Finding Momentum

I’m dif­fer­ent. It’s been about three weeks since the real­iza­tion washed over me. I wish I had the vocab­u­lary to tell you about it. But to tell you the truth, it’s pretty foggy to me as well. That’s why I’ve held off on post­ing out here–every time I think I have some­thing dis­tilled and clear in my head, some­thing mud­dles it up.

Something’s dif­fer­ent. I can taste the change in my thoughts, my inter­ac­tions with peo­ple and my per­son­al­ity. I don’t quite like it. I feel older. More reserved. Slightly cyn­i­cal (oh Lord no). Heavier.

I feel heav­ier, per­haps wea­rier. I bear bruises but I don’t know where they come from.

Maybe I’ll try to flesh it out in writ­ing a lit­tle more in the next few days. I’ll do my best to be trans­par­ent, but I’ll prob­a­bly hold back a lit­tle bit because of the nature of this medium. Please do ask me in per­son if you’d like a fuller picture.