Finding Momentum

Man. Where to even start?

I started working at Riverbed about three months ago. Three months! Time does fly.

What do you do? I'm a User Interface Developer with them, where I design the management interface to the Steelhead, their WAN acceleration product. What this means in plain English is that I design the look and feel of the control panel to their product, a network device that speeds up data transfer over a network.

No, it's not the sexiest thing to be doing, but hey it's my first full-time job. My boss is really cool and my coworkers are really fun. I think I'm gonna learn a lot here.

I remember starting work and making a list of priorities:

1. Relationships > work.
2. Personal life > work life (and learn how to separate the two)
3. Work hard & work well.
4. Work to be generous.
5. Work as an act of worship.

Here's what I'm learning:

1. The rhythm of work life is like nothing I anticipated. It wasn't that total screeching halt that I braced myself for, but rather a slower, gradual fade into a 9A-6P rhythm. It's not pulling crazy demands on my personal life right now, but I definitely understand that desire to come in after work, sit down and veg out in front of the TV.
2. It's all about the relationships, and that's not easy. If I'm going to be spending most of my life here at work, I really want to make it count. You know? I want these relationships to really mean something. Call me naive, but I think we can make real friends at work. And that requires a lot of effort.

   I'm discovering that this effort doesn't come easy. Because work life has greatly shrunk the scope of my outside activities, it means that there needs to be real effort to make room to chill with coworkers over a pitcher at the bar across the street, or attend my coworker's daughter's high school musical (haven't done that one yet!). And I'm finding that oftentimes it's far easier to block out my whole schedule with things I plan but never leave room for the simple conversations that come my way every day.

3. I thought that making money wasn't going to make me materialistic (that's quite a mouthful). I thought I knew how to live generously and it would come easy. After all, I came from college, right? I lived off food scraps and horribly improvised recipes/abominations (see: spaghetti sauce sandwich). I went to Intervarsity, right? I know what it's like to interface with the poor.

   It's not easy, guys.

   I'm finding it's true that the more you make, the more you compare to those who have more. Oh, I make x dollars a year? Well my coworker makes y more than me, and he's only z quantity more/less experienced. And it's true, when you never thought money would be an idol, you find yourself wishing that you had extra space in your wallet for that extra purchase.

4. I'm learning that the act of work itself is, well, worship. I'm thinking that satisfaction you get when you finish a big project having put your heart and mind and strength into it is, well, a reflection of how God felt when he finished us up on the 7th metaphorical (or literal, depending on your take) day.
5. I also thought that giving would be more glamorous than it really was. I'm not quite sure what I imagined. Maybe lavish praise from friends and acquaintances. "Oh, he's so kind." "Oh, he's a generous fellow (which nobody can deny)" At the very least, maybe a gold star in the books.

Maybe it's true, what Jesus taught: "But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." (Matt. 6:3). That's the ultimate suck-it-up unglamorous thing to do. That's zero recognition, not even from yourself. I think Jesus had a point when he said that. Don't look to the act of giving to give you your full satisfaction. Do it because your Father loves you; his Holy Spirit moves and breathes through you.

And so it is with the workplace as well; I'm learning not to see it as my ultimate ends of satisfaction. I'm trying hard not to let it dictate my mood for the day or my pace of life in general. I'm working out what it means to have a career, to have skills, talents, passions, and to explore and expand them in the context of this new rhythm of life.

I think I make this transition out to be a lot harder than it actually is. I need to remember that I do these things because the Spirit moves and breathes through me. And in light of that, I can chill.