Finding Momentum

I am learn­ing that there is a respon­si­bil­ity to being known by another. Sarah and I can’t expect to read each other per­fectly right off the bat. Nor can we coast off the years we’ve been together.

I am only start­ing to learn about myself. Really. There is work to be done that I’ve sim­ply ignored for years. And it’s kind of excit­ing! What moti­vates me? What makes me mad and why? Why am I the per­son I am? It’s so freak­ing easy to do the daily rou­tine thing: go to work and come back, fill your life with activ­i­ties and peo­ple and events and com­mut­ing that you don’t have time to stop and think and just listen.

They say com­mu­ni­ca­tion is a two-way street, and I’m only fig­ur­ing out that there is much more to plumb from the depths. And it’s good for the two of us. If I can explain myself and my feel­ings and moti­va­tions bet­ter, then Sarah has more than assump­tions to go off on.

And at the same time I real­ize that this jour­ney of self-realization can be twisted into an exer­cise in navel-gazing. May I know myself not to make myself more than I really am (a twisted shell of the Orig­i­nal design), but to com­mu­ni­cate with ever-more honesty.