Finding Momentum

Grace, grace, it all comes from Grace. Today I heard that I deserve nothing; everything given to me is a gift. I think it was the millionth time I'd heard it, but the first time I actually thought about living it.

I think the Gospel is crazy because it talks about a Jesus who suffered rejection. A Jesus that forgave his enemies not because he was a nice guy asking to get run over, but because his Father was ultimately the one who dealt justice. I really like that Jesus knows about (our) suffering not in an omniscient, detached way, but in a literal, experiential manner. I really like that in the end, I can trust that the end outcome is swift justice, steady mercies and overwhelming grace.

So grace, grace; I determined that I need this truth hammered into the far inner crevices of my soul--where truth must stick to my rib so I may know that I deserved nothing, but received everything through Jesus. I need in this time to stop living in selfish fantasies and move toward sweet release. I want to move past bitterness into gratitude, control into surrender. Though she is no longer here, my memories reveal graces small and large. Though they are reclaimed by the Giver, today I glimpsed freedom to travel toward the new country.

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