Finding Momentum » Andrew 2.0

Transitions, again

andrewhao — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:29:17 +0000

This Tuesday was my last day at Riverbed. I’ve moved onto a yearlong ministry internship at Regeneration, and moved in across the street from the church in Oakland. I’m starting to see how this is shaping up to be an urban monastic existence, as Justin put it. It’s funny, because I used to think that being an engineer meant working in a cube all by your lonesome, but even then I was surrounded by people. Now I’m not sure how to deal with all this solitude (!).

I’ll post more about this in detail, but I realize that this season of study, service and introspection is going to be more difficult (and hopefully, more rewarding) than expected. I’m excited to see how God shows up.

There may be a new blog coming soon. Stay tuned!

Untitled

andrewhao — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 06:02:30 +0000

Photo courtesy of Jeremy Brooks (Flickr).

I have discovered you cannot properly grieve in a city; it won’t give you a damn second to be alone. I’d like to have a moment of silence in an alleyway, behind the dumpster, over the beggar-man, to the cacophony of car horns and ice cream carousel jingles. No dice. The city clamors, roars, and cries for attention.

Once I sat in Oakland traffic and watched low-slung motorbikes and Cadillacs rush by in hip-hop time, their mourner-passengers leaning out windows and moonroofs, flailing their arms and cursing out the world. Because when the city pays you no attention, you must raise your voice and roar.

Maybe I’ll hold the wake behind the stadium, or under the piers, or by the train tracks. It’d never work though. The guests would get lost in the crowds, bumping shoulders with cruise ship passengers. What could they hear over the roar of the fans, or the earthshaking rumble of the 252? Tourists would train their cameras, passersbys would gawk, it’d be a spectacle.

So that’s why when funeral processions snake through Chinatown, they are accompanied by a band. Because when the city drowns you out, you must raise the horn and wail.

In which I refer to Facebook and stuff.

andrewhao — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:35:05 +0000

All my life I’ve lived in the electronic! always-on! hyper-connected! world of the Future. I realize that it promises intimacy but cannot deliver. Get me away from these late night bright lights and cold screens. I wanna float about and explore inner space. Linger in the warmth of friends and simple conversations. Stretch out in the expanses of silence and there hear the inner voice of love.

Sensations — Surely God was in this place (and I did not know it)

andrewhao — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:44:51 +0000

Inspired from Genesis 28:16.

Sensations ...
Sensations ...

Alli and Nate Hung Wedding

andrewhao — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 00:23:42 +0000

Next Page ›

A beautiful wedding at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga, CA

On grace in the new country

andrewhao — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 07:46:50 +0000

Grace, grace, it all comes from Grace. Today I heard that I deserve nothing; everything given to me is a gift. I think it was the millionth time I'd heard it, but the first time I actually thought about living it.

I think the Gospel is crazy because it talks about a Jesus who suffered rejection. A Jesus that forgave his enemies not because he was a nice guy asking to get run over, but because his Father was ultimately the one who dealt justice. I really like that Jesus knows about (our) suffering not in an omniscient, detached way, but in a literal, experiential manner. I really like that in the end, I can trust that the end outcome is swift justice, steady mercies and overwhelming grace.

So grace, grace; I determined that I need this truth hammered into the far inner crevices of my soul--where truth must stick to my rib so I may know that I deserved nothing, but received everything through Jesus. I need in this time to stop living in selfish fantasies and move toward sweet release. I want to move past bitterness into gratitude, control into surrender. Though she is no longer here, my memories reveal graces small and large. Though they are reclaimed by the Giver, today I glimpsed freedom to travel toward the new country.

Explaining my framework for action (and how Grace plays into it all) Bowen asked me a good question on my last post–“Any reason why IJM in particular?”...
Grace upon grace I think Grace is jackhammering into my creaky l’il religious heart right now. A simple...

andrewhao — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:51:02 +0000

Henri Nouwen is kicking my butt.

Though the word spoken over me today was joy

andrewhao — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:12:01 +0000

I am now distraught with sweet, sweet grief in accepting what I do not understand. “Child of weakness watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all.”

The pieces are coming together.

andrewhao — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 07:42:34 +0000

The mission next year is to live in faith, seek spiritual renewal, and develop personal boundaries. In that order, until things change again.

Timed mile at Piedmont High

andrewhao — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 06:30:12 +0000

Timed mile at Piedmont High, originally uploaded by andrewhao.

We decided to check out how fast we could run the mile again, six years out of high school. And you know what? It was a lot better than I remembered it. I wonder what Mr. Battaglia would think of me now…