Finding Momentum » God

Transitions, again

andrewhao — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:29:17 +0000

This Tuesday was my last day at Riverbed. I’ve moved onto a yearlong ministry internship at Regeneration, and moved in across the street from the church in Oakland. I’m starting to see how this is shaping up to be an urban monastic existence, as Justin put it. It’s funny, because I used to think that being an engineer meant working in a cube all by your lonesome, but even then I was surrounded by people. Now I’m not sure how to deal with all this solitude (!).

I’ll post more about this in detail, but I realize that this season of study, service and introspection is going to be more difficult (and hopefully, more rewarding) than expected. I’m excited to see how God shows up.

There may be a new blog coming soon. Stay tuned!

andrewhao — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:29:29 +0000

Be still, Andrew.
Pay attention to your soul.
Dare to own your pain.
Trust in your Father.

In which I refer to Facebook and stuff.

andrewhao — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:35:05 +0000

All my life I’ve lived in the electronic! always-on! hyper-connected! world of the Future. I realize that it promises intimacy but cannot deliver. Get me away from these late night bright lights and cold screens. I wanna float about and explore inner space. Linger in the warmth of friends and simple conversations. Stretch out in the expanses of silence and there hear the inner voice of love.

On grace in the new country

andrewhao — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 07:46:50 +0000

Grace, grace, it all comes from Grace. Today I heard that I deserve nothing; everything given to me is a gift. I think it was the millionth time I'd heard it, but the first time I actually thought about living it.

I think the Gospel is crazy because it talks about a Jesus who suffered rejection. A Jesus that forgave his enemies not because he was a nice guy asking to get run over, but because his Father was ultimately the one who dealt justice. I really like that Jesus knows about (our) suffering not in an omniscient, detached way, but in a literal, experiential manner. I really like that in the end, I can trust that the end outcome is swift justice, steady mercies and overwhelming grace.

So grace, grace; I determined that I need this truth hammered into the far inner crevices of my soul--where truth must stick to my rib so I may know that I deserved nothing, but received everything through Jesus. I need in this time to stop living in selfish fantasies and move toward sweet release. I want to move past bitterness into gratitude, control into surrender. Though she is no longer here, my memories reveal graces small and large. Though they are reclaimed by the Giver, today I glimpsed freedom to travel toward the new country.

Explaining my framework for action (and how Grace plays into it all) Bowen asked me a good question on my last post–“Any reason why IJM in particular?”...
Grace upon grace I think Grace is jackhammering into my creaky l’il religious heart right now. A simple...

andrewhao — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:51:02 +0000

Henri Nouwen is kicking my butt.

Though the word spoken over me today was joy

andrewhao — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 07:12:01 +0000

I am now distraught with sweet, sweet grief in accepting what I do not understand. “Child of weakness watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all.”

The pieces are coming together.

andrewhao — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 07:42:34 +0000

The mission next year is to live in faith, seek spiritual renewal, and develop personal boundaries. In that order, until things change again.

In which my pursuits are checked

andrewhao — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:15:04 +0000

I am in a period of searching for significance through my work. May I remember that it is worth nothing to build my name in something other than Jesus.

Good Friday

andrewhao — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 08:04:12 +0000

We held our breaths as you let go of your last: It is finished.

This morning, I am thankful for Grace.

andrewhao — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:07:52 +0000